We Can Stop Apologizing Now

I sat down to read a magazine this morning. Not an earth-shattering confession, I know, but an unusual occurrence around here. (And just one more way I’m pursuing playfully alive today — my 2019 word of the year.)

As I flip through the pages of Real Simple (May 2019), I make it as far as pg 10, “The Editor’s Note,” where Leslie confesses she is a recovering chronic apologizer. Which is why she loves this issue’s essay feature: “Women on what they no longer apologize for.”

Color me intrigued! I flip to page 126 and read all seven articles, right in a row. Short and sweet confessions of women no longer apologizing for things like loving cats or hitting the snooze button or being vulnerable.

And it gets me thinking . . . Leslie (and these 7 honest women) aren’t the only ones who have vowed to stop apologizing. I’ve been a chronic apologizer for much of my life too. Many of us are. Maybe you’d have to raise your hand too!

And my mind stops with the thought…

Funny thing, when we start growing up in grace, there’s a lot we don’t have to apologize for anymore! Hmmmm.

I ponder this for a couple minutes till I crack a smile and scurry for paper because the non-apology list in my head demands to be written. Now!

And shared.

Without apology.

My No-Apology List

In grace we no longer have to apologize for:

  • What we care about – like having deep conversations or talking about our God stories or focusing on grace all the time
  • Who we surround ourselves with – because relationships ebb and flow, and sometimes letting go of a friendship is the best thing
  • Our emotions – letting yourself feel all the feels, and being okay there
  • Ditching the “shoulds” – no more guilt trips needed, thanks so much
  • Not being perfect – throwing away the need to be everything to everyone all the time, and realizing it’s okay to mess up
  • What brings us joy – proudly loving crispy french fries, cold weather, sappy movies, and more
  • How we look – realizing God created you, just as He wanted you
  • Our life path – being okay with not fitting the “norms” for family, kids, community, business plan, etc
  • Not adhering to mainstream Christianity – instead, focusing on our identity, what’s RIGHT with us in Christ, and how much joy and fun can be had on this grace adventure

And, oh, are there some fabulous stories behind these! Stories of angst turning to joy, fear morphing to courage, trying-to-please becoming He’s already pleased. A wild symphony of beliefs and behavior turned upside down through the power of grace.

What’s on YOUR list?

So, here’s what I’m wondering . . .

What areas in your life do you no longer apologize for?

Where can you fully embrace who you are, what you do, and how you think? Or what areas of your life are primed and ready to top your No-Apology List?

The only reason we can even make a No-Apology List is because of God’s grace. Through His grace you and I have great freedom freedom to embrace who we are, freedom to like what we like, freedom to pursue what God has nestled in our hearts.

Because in Christ, who you are and what you love = no apology necessary.

P.S. If you’re tired of being a chronic apologizer too, you’ll enjoy this free video mini-series on shedding guilt to embrace more grace and joy in everyday life!

P.P.S. I’m so intrigued by this no-apology concept that we’re making it an Instagram project for a bit. Join me for behind-the-scenes stories and more juicy details from my No Apology List . . . and share yours too! Catch ya on IG — @jannamwright


I’ve been apologising my entire life. I’m 48 years old and feel the need to apologize when I mess up, standing in someone’s path to the work fridge, etc. I get anxious about being around my family (mom, siblings, etc) because they like to make fun of me, make snide comments, etc. My own youngest son makes comments about my hair, shoes, purses, etc and I feel the need to explain myself. This is exhausting emotionally, mentally, & physically.

Janna Wright

Calandra, you are so right — constant apologizing is exhausting on so many levels! And it can leave us feeling like we’re not enough anywhere, anytime. You, my friend, have lived enough life to have earned the right to like what you like, wear what you want, and do whatever in the world you want with your hair! 🙂 You have nothing to prove. To anyone. Not to mention, if you belong to Jesus, He says you’re never “too much” or “not enough” or “in the way.” You are exactly as He made you, and He’s abundantly proud of you! I hope you enjoy writing your No Apology List, and I’d love to hear how it goes in real life.

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