fear of man

how to make a bunch of women really mad

how to make a bunch of women really mad

So I’m surfing Pinterest the other day, and up pops this pin called “6 things your wife is always thinking about.”

“Okay, I’ll bite,” I thought, “I’m curious what they think we wives think about all day long.”

It was a pretty harmless post about how a wife is often thinking what to cook for dinner, if the kids are okay, how she looks, or how to keep her man happy. Nothing too earth shattering.

When I scrolled down to the comments, though, my mouth dropped open. Of the 50 there, most of the people were highly offended and railing on the blogger.

You had the irate:

  • sounds like what every woman is assumed to think back in the 1950s
  • This list is antiquated
  • you’re putting wives into a box

Then the snarky,

  • Yes, because all women are exactly the same, and men are never allowed to think about these things

Plus a couple of nods (barely):

  • Love it
    what a beautiful blog

Still in Shock

I gaped at the overwhelmingly negative response and wondered, “Why do people feel so strongly about this post?” Seriously, in the broad scheme of life a blog post isn’t really that big a deal. It’s not like your dog was just murdered or something. Blogs are just one person’s opinion about the way the world works. Why get so up in arms about it?

Then it hit me that we all see life through certain lenses, and when those lenses are challenged or misunderstood, we feel threatened. Maybe that’s what happened to the poor commenters?

hammer and eggSo, I re-read a few comments and looked for clues about lenses. I saw hints of things like a need to be heard, a need to be right, a need to feel a part of something, and even a deep need to be accepted and not judged.

The whole thing reminded me that when someone reacts, it has nothing to do with what was written or said and everything to do with how she views the world.

Have you ever had someone overreact or thrash you,
and you couldn’t figure out why?
Have you ever done that to someone yourself?

I can answer “yes” to both of those questions.

Staying Calm for Good

Wouldn’t it be great to be free from all that? To stop caring what people think of you? To never be threatened by what somebody says? To stop worrying if you’re coming across okay?

You can. Because of grace.

All it takes is knowing your true identity and believing that what God thinks of you matters most. Then, the fear of man starts to melt away. Sure, it’s simpler to say than to actually do, but it really works. I know because I see it in action – in my own life (slowly but surely) and in other women too. It’s rare and pretty fascinating too!

One Last Thought

So, here’s my wish for you.

I wish for 2016 to be your year of freedom.
May you grow in grace and the
knowledge of who you truly are to God.
And may that free you from what
people think forever!

And along the way, may you laugh often, kinda like I did at my favorite replies from the makes-‘em-all-mad post.

And your why the divorce rate is so high now a days!!!

E.B., Graduate Research Assistant at Portland State University

(Kudos! I think the grad degree is working.)

Posted by Janna Wright in Discovering My True Identity, 0 comments